Altar Ego Read online

  “No?” He stepped away from me. “No?”

  I opened my eyes to look at him, to take in the handsome lines of his face, the dishevelled look of his hair, and the sadness in his eyes.

  “You don’t really mean that?” It was a question, and it caught me off guard. Dominic never asked questions. He made statements. Asking questions would make him seem vulnerable, unsure of the answer. Dominic was not vulnerable in any stretch of the imagination.

  “I do mean it Dominic.” I glanced down towards my feet. “You can’t just come back in to my life like this and be all masterful and demanding, expecting me to just fall back into your arms and give you everything you wish to take from me.”

  He paced again. He was acting like he didn’t know what to say. I had never seen him like this before, and I wasn’t really comfortable with it. I wanted to go to him, to comfort him, to give him exactly what he needed. But I wasn’t prepared to do that at my own cost. If I was giving myself to him, it needed to be fully. We had to be in agreement that there was an ‘us’.

  “Elise I...” He started to speak, and then paced again. “I don’t know why I’m here.”

  I felt a confidence exude from me that I hadn’t discovered before.

  “You are here because you booked a table. Your dinner guests are waiting.” I turned and reached for the door.

  “No I’m not.” He touched my arm gently, a soft caress against my skin. “I’m here because you are.”

  I swallowed loudly, my back still turned to him. Goosebumps travelled up my arms and the hairs on the back of my neck stood to attention. Not because of his touch, but because of his words.

  “I have to get back to work.” I said. My voice was barely a whisper. “We can talk later.” I opened the door and strode through the kitchen, marching past Max who stood his mouth open staring at me.

  Dominic eventually joined his guests and Sara served them for their meal. I spent the evening between the bar and the office, finding every excuse I could to stay off the floor and away from Dominic. He had floored me with his admission. He had come here for me. I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about that. I was flattered, but I would not be used and then tossed away when he had finished again.

  The sounds which carried from downstairs eventually faded out and the music was switched off. I felt as if I could leave the safe haven of the office and so I tentatively took myself downstairs to the restaurant with the intention of filling a large glass and drowning my sorrows.

  The kitchen was in darkness, the dishes stacked by the sink and the back door locked. There was no sign of Max. I cursed to myself as I rounded the corner. How could he leave me? He knew I couldn’t drive tonight. I headed for the bar and picked up a clean glass, filling it to the brim and gulping it straight down. I closed my eyes and savoured the taste as it slid down my throat. I was just thinking to myself that I would have another, and then I would ring a taxi. I lifted the bottle to pour a second glass before realising there was someone else there.

  I almost jumped out of my skin as I saw him sitting there in the semi darkness, twirling the restaurant keys around his fingers. He had one leg across his knee, he had removed his tie and opened the top two buttons on his shirt, and his sleeves were rolled up. His jacket was slung across the table and he was nursing a glass of single malt.

  “Why are you still here?” I asked him as I came out from behind the bar.

  “I waited for you. You said we could talk.” He told me, putting the keys down on the table. “Max said we could lock up as long as I made sure you got home safe.”

  I silently cursed at Max in my mind. How could he be so stupid? I wasn’t capable of making decisions where Dominic was concerned. He shouldn’t have left me.

  “I meant another time Dominic.” I moved to the table he was sitting at. “When I have had the chance to work out what you want from me.”

  “Elise...Sit!”

  I sat.

  Instantly.

  Without a fight.

  I rolled my eyes at myself. He only had to speak and I became a slave to his every whim, every desire.

  “Elise...I apologise for my behaviour this evening.” He picked up his glass and swirled it around staring at the liquid coating the glass. “I had to see you, and I thought that by booking a table, it would be the simplest way.” He lifted the glass to his lips. “It wasn’t supposed to go quite like it did.” He drank the malt in one and put the glass back on the table. “I was just going to talk to you, to see how you were? And then I walked in and saw that Neanderthal...” He clenched his fist as he spoke. “I fucking lost it. I know that.” He reached across the table for my hand and wrapped his own around it entwining our fingers. “You do something to me that I can’t explain.” He made eye contact with me and I stared at him, searching his face for more clues.

  “Dominic, you are being unfair.” I said quietly. “I have just started to get my life back on track.” I looked away from his stare. “It took me a long time to not think of you every time I woke up.”

  “I want to be a part of it Elise. More than I have ever wanted anything.” He looked at me almost pleadingly.

  “You don’t mean that.” I told him. I wriggled my hand free. “You just want to control everything...Me included.”

  “I can’t lie to you. Controlling you is a huge part of what I want.” He took my hand again. “Don’t fight this Elise. I want to own you completely.” He lifted my hand and brushed his lips across my knuckles. “And I know that you want the same.”

  I closed my eyes. I had to know if we had a chance.

  “Have you ever been in love?” I asked him.

  “Love?” He paused. “Don’t you realise Elise... Love is just a way for us to be selfish when we don’t want to live alone.” He kept a tight hold of my hand.

  “I don’t believe it is Dominic.” I told him. “I believe its wanting to be with someone. I believe that it is having a want to do whatever you can to make that person happy, including submitting to their every desire. I believe that it is all consuming and makes you the most unselfish person you can ever be, as you always put the needs of your significant other before you.” I looked straight into his eyes and took a deep breath. “I believe that it is how I feel about you.”

  Chapter 17

  He snatched his hand away from me and jumped up from his chair as if a bomb had exploded right underneath him. He stood there frozen, like he was in shock.

  “Dominic...” I started to stand.

  “No Elise. Don’t.” He said.

  “Look at me.” I pleaded. I moved towards him, keeping my eyes on him at all times, willing for him to look at me. “Please.” I stood right in front of him.

  “I can’t.” He said. His head was turned to the left slightly so that I couldn’t make eye contact. I touched his chin and gently turned his face to mine. He responded by closing his eyes. “I will hurt you.” He said.

  “I want you to.” I told him, stepping up and placing a chaste kiss on his bottom lip.

  “I will make you submit and succumb to things you have never even dreamed of.” He continued, swallowing loudly.

  “I want you to.” I repeated, kissing his top lip.

  “I will break you.” He opened his eyes and looked deep into mine. They were almost black and through the darkness I could see his passion for me burning. They say the eyes are windows to the soul, and his really were, if only you could get close enough to look into them.

  “I’m ready.” I told him as I snaked my tongue across his lip. “You can break me, I’m yours. Just never leave me again.”

  That was the only encouragement he needed. He grabbed me by the arm and spun me around flinging the chair out of the way and bending me over the table, my chest was crushed against the table top as he pressed into me from behind fumbling with his belt and hitching my skirt. He grasped the flimsy fabric at the side of my knickers and ripped them off of me in one quick movement. I took a sharp breath as he pushed my head down on
the table holding me still, and plunged deep inside of me. He cried out my name as he thrust in and out of me in a frenzied attack. All I could do was grip the sides of the table and take what he needed to give to me.

  He pounded into me again and again hitting my G spot with every thrust. My hips ground against the edge of the table and my legs were shaking. I should have been scared, but I wasn’t. I was comfortable. I loved this man and all he had to give and I took it graciously. He pulled back and groaned before pushing into me one last time, his skin on mine and nothing between us at all. He shuddered as his cock throbbed inside of me and my own orgasm took over me as he came. His breathing gradually slowed to a normal pace and he flopped on top of me kissing my shoulders and sliding his arms underneath me to hold me. I was limp in his hold, like a ragdoll, exhausted and throbbing with soreness, but at the same time completely satisfied. He slipped out of me and lifted me from the table, turning me around and wrapping his arms around me. He held me tightly and breathed into my neck.

  “Thank you.” He muttered. “Thank you for being the most incredible woman I have ever met.” He kissed my neck before lifting his head and looking straight into my eyes. “And most of all...Thank you for being mine.”

  “I can assure you. It’s going to be my pleasure.” I smiled at him and snuggled into his chest, happy to be held by him, to feel some sort of affection.

  “Let me take you home.” He said, kissing the top of my head. “You must be worn out?”

  “Hmmm.” I nodded. “Home with you sounds good.”

  He led me from the restaurant, carefully locking the doors behind us and in an instant his driver had the car doors open and ready for us. The drive was silent, I leaned in and rested my head on Dominic’s shoulder and he let me. He sat as still as a statue for the entire journey. When we slowed and eventually stopped, I realised we were outside Max’ house.

  “Are you not taking me home?” I asked with disappointment.

  “This is your home Elise...For now.” He said softly. “I think we both have some thinking to do.” He smoothed my cheek with his thumb and kissed the tip of my nose softly as the driver opened the door. “I will collect you tomorrow morning for breakfast.”

  I pouted. It was ridiculous. I was a grown woman and here I was pouting like a child. I climbed out of the car and walked away, not looking back as I let myself into the house. I walked straight past the lounge, ignoring Max calling my name and headed up the stairs. Once in the safe haven of my room I let myself flop onto the bed fully clothed and cried until I fell asleep from sheer exhaustion.

  I opened one eye as I felt a gentle shake on my shoulder.

  “Elise.” There was another little shake.

  “Princess... It’s time to wake up.”

  I looked up at my best friend to see a worried look.

  “I’m sorry Elise. I thought you would be able to sort things out with him.” He smoothed my hair off of my forehead. “He seemed so keen to put things right between you.”

  I sat up and leaned against the bedstead and took the mug of steaming coffee that Max held out to me.

  “I told him I loved him.” I said, staring into the mug.

  “And...?” Max raised his eyebrow in a questioning manner.

  “He gave me some bollocks about how he would hurt me, and then we fucked like teenagers over one of your tables.” I laughed as I realised how ridiculous it all was. “Then he dropped me off here and told me we had some thinking to do.” I sighed and took a sip of my coffee. I stole a glance at Max to see he was smiling. “It isn’t anything to smile about Max.” I scolded him. “I’m a total fucking idiot.” I huffed, putting my coffee on the side table and slumped down into my quilt. “Just leave me. I’m just going to wallow in my own self pity for a while.” I told him.

  “Oh no you aren’t.” He pulled my arm until I was hanging half out of the bed. “Shower time.” He tugged a little harder and I grabbed onto his arms laughing.

  “No...Just leave me. I don’t want to shower.” I scrabbled to get a better grip on his arms. If I was going on the floor then he was coming too. “Max!” I shouted. We were laughing now as I twisted, slipped out of the bed and landed in a spectacularly ungraceful heap on the floor with Max on top of me.

  “Shower.” He ordered. He kissed my forehead and lifted himself off of me. “I love you Baby, but you fucking stink.” He chuckled as he left the room and I was left alone to pick myself up.

  Chapter 18

  I did get in the shower. I cleaned my teeth and combed my hair, leaving it to dry naturally before pulling on a pair of skinny jeans and a t-shirt. I looked at myself in the mirror and brightened my eyes with a little mascara, before popping a slick of gloss on my lips. I was just heading down stairs when the doorbell rang and Max stepped in front of me to open the door. He had his car keys in his hand and was ready to leave for the restaurant.

  “I will see you later Princess.” He called over his shoulder as he left, leaving the front door wide open, and Dominic’s form filled the whole doorway.

  “You are ready. Good.” His smile was broad and it lightened his face up in a way I hadn’t seen before. I stood still on the stairs for a moment just staring at him.

  “Elise...” He stepped over the threshold and held his hand out to me. “Did you forget our breakfast arrangements?”

  “I...err...No.” I stammered. I was confused by how happy he looked. It was strange and definitely unusual. I stepped down the remaining three steps and took the hand he was offering.

  “Let’s go then.” He gave my hand a little squeeze as I grabbed my jacket and bag and we headed out into the early morning sun. I shivered a little as we climbed into the car. I slid across and he followed me in.

  “Are you cold?” He asked.

  I nodded.

  He didn’t speak again; he just wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close, holding me tightly in the back seat of the car. His own body warmth seeped through my clothes and my shivering slowed. I relaxed against him, not quite sure how to handle this new Dominic.

  “So where are we going?” I asked.

  “It’s a surprise.” He grinned and held me closer.

  I smiled wryly as I let him envelop me in his arms, I could feel the beating of his heart against my own and I revelled in it. I relaxed against him and we continued on our journey in silence.

  After almost an hour the car stopped and Dominic released me from his arms. I listened to the driver get out and seconds later he opened the door. I stepped out onto the pathway and took a deep breath of the fresh morning air. It was still a little chilly but the sun was trying desperately to break through the clouds and it looked like a nice day.

  “I think the weather will hold out sir.” The driver spoke.

  “Yes I think you are right.” Dominic replied. He moved behind me and guided me forward with his palm on the small of my back. We crossed the grass and climbed a small embankment, as we reached the brow I gasped. There in front of us tethered to a post by the canal was the most colourful barge. It was beautifully decorated and a young man was waiting by it for us. I looked up at Dominic and he nodded at me with a smile. I squealed with delight and practically skipped down the bank to the water’s edge.

  “This is amazing!” I called to him as I trailed my hands over the paintwork, following the delicate swirls with my fingers until they reached a huge burst of flowers. “Is it yours?” I asked over my shoulder.

  “It can be.” He spoke quietly behind me and I jumped at his closeness.

  “Shit Dominic.” I turned to face him. “Are you an expert is moving in stealth mode?” I stepped up onto my tiptoes and wrapped my arms around his neck. “You made me jump.”

  “I intend to make you do more than jump.” He growled. He kissed the tip of my nose before removing my arms from his neck and placing his hand once more on the small of my back. He gently pushed me forwards and I of course, complied. He could make me do just about anything, and only the slightest touch fr
om him was required. We stepped on to the plank and carefully climbed on to the deck. The young man on the canal edge untied us and Dominic took control of the barge, steering it gently away from the banks.

  “So where are we headed?” I asked wrapping my arms around him and pressing my chest into his back.

  “Nowhere special.” He gave my hand a little pat and kept looking straight ahead. I slid around his body till I was aside him and looked up at him waiting for him to elaborate. He didn’t... obviously. He never did. He was a man of few words really. Though to be fair, he didn’t need to speak much to get his needs across to me. I understand what he wanted most of the time.

  We stood like that for quite some time. I held on to him and watched the world move slowly past us. The green of the fields and the bright colours of the barges we passed glimmered in the morning sun. It was so peaceful, so quiet, it was almost unnerving, the silence.

  After an hour or so, he slowed and guided us towards the bank. He jumped off the barge and tied the ropes to the two mooring posts, before stepping back onboard and holding out his hand. I placed my hand in his and he lifted it to his mouth, kissing it gently. I shivered, more in anticipation than as a result of the cool breeze which had picked up.

  He turned and I followed, letting him lead me to the cabin door. We went through it and he locked it behind us, before moving into the small kitchenette. He motioned for me to sit while he uncorked a bottle of bubbly and retrieved two cut crystal flutes from one of the neat little cupboards.

  “Champagne for breakfast?” I chuckled.

  “Yes Elise.” He handed me the flute. “It’s a special occasion.” He knelt on the floor before me and placed his own glass on the table beside us. His hands trailed slowly up my legs, starting at my ankles and grazing ever so gently the backs of my calves and the soft delicate area behind my knees. My legs parted involuntarily as he brought his hands round over my knees and brushed his fingers against my inner thighs.