Altar Ego Read online

  I put my phone back in my bag and sat back in the comfy chair watching the world pass by outside. I yawned, it had been a long day today and after my late night last night I was looking forward to getting into bed. My phone beeped from my bag and I reached in for it. I pulled it out along with Dominic’s card. My heart skipped a beat when I thought of him. I wondered what would happen if I rang the number now. Would he come for me? I shoved it back in my bag and checked my phone.

  Im leaving Sara to lock up. Home by 9. Shall I bring cake?

  I laughed as I sent back...

  Stupid question : )

  I wasted the rest of the day by going back and cleaning the house for Max, not that it needed it. The man was a domestic God. I had never seen a lived in home look so clean, in fact the only mess was caused by me. I popped a bottle of wine in the fridge to chill for later. I had the feeling we were going to be having a bit of a heart to heart when Max got home.

  I ran a bubble bath and settled down with my kindle. If my own life was going to turn out so crap at least I could lose myself in a literary fantasy. I was in the middle of a frankly insipid sex scene; well that’s how it seemed after my own recent experiences, when my phone rang. I glanced at the screen to see it was Ellie and I hit the answer button followed by the loud speaker.

  “Ellie, sweetheart.” I greeted her, putting the kindle down on the floor.

  “Mum?” She sounded worried. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine darling, please don’t worry.” I tried to sound as reassuring as I could. “I’m staying with Uncle Max for a while.”

  “Dad says you have taken leave of your senses...” she said.

  I seethed silently. He would say that wouldn’t he? He couldn’t just admit to our children that he was in the wrong.

  “I really haven’t Ellie. Everything is okay.” I kept my voice as soothing as possible. I didn’t want her to worry. “We are just having a few issues that’s all. I’m staying here so that Dad can have some space to think.” Though I felt dreadful for not telling her the truth about our break up, I really didn’t want to let her in on the full extent of ‘our issues’ until I could speak with her face to face.

  “I’m coming home next weekend.” She didn’t seem very happy about it. “Do I have to stay with Dad?” She went quiet.

  “No darling, I will speak to Max and you can stay with me...” she didn’t respond. “Okay?” I asked.

  “Thanks Mum.” She spoke to someone at the other end of the phone before continuing. “I love you.”

  “I love you too Ellie.” I missed her terribly, I was excited to see her at the weekend, but I wasn’t looking forward to telling her everything. No child should have to hear that their parents are splitting up. I guess we would just end up being another broken family for the government statistics.

  She ended the call and I slipped down under the water. Perhaps I could just hide out here in the bubbles forever.

  I jumped as I heard the front door open. ‘Fuck!’ It was freezing and my skin was wrinkled. I shivered as I lifted myself out of the now tepid water and wrapped myself in my dressing gown, grabbing a towel for my hair.

  “Elise.” Max called up the stairs.

  “I’m here” I called back in response as I reached the top of the stairs. “I’m just going to dry my hair and I will be down.” I told him. “Open the bottle that’s in the fridge.”

  He grinned, slung his coat on the carved rack by the door and went into the kitchen. I quickly threw some pyjamas on and rough dried my hair, scooping it up on top of my head in a clip. I sneaked up behind him in the kitchen and wrapped my arms around his waist. I rested my head on his back and sighed.

  “I’m sorry about today.” I apologised again.

  He gave my hand a squeeze, then turned round, handing me a glass of wine and smiled.

  “It’s really okay.” He said softly, “But I guess I really do have to fill you in now don’t I?”

  I nodded.

  “Come on then.” He handed me a plate with the biggest piece of salted caramel cake I have ever seen and a fork, and we went through to the lounge. It was warm and cosy; Max had lit the fire and switched the lamps on. I loved this room and I adored it when we both sat on the fluffy rug by the hearth curling our legs up like teenagers.

  I speared a huge forkful of the gooey cake and popped it in my mouth making appreciative noises as I did so. Max just watched me and didn’t touch his.

  “If you think I won’t eat yours too you are sorely mistaken Max.” I laughed. “Eat!”

  I winked at him and he picked up his fork too.

  “It’s okay, you know. I won’t judge you.” I told him. I felt a warm affection towards Max. He was always there for me in times of need, and I tried to do the same for him. Not that he needed me much. He always seemed to have his shit together...until now.

  “He is married.” He said.

  I stopped eating and looked at him in shock.

  “Close your mouth princess, that cake does not look appetising when its half chewed.” He picked up his wine glass and let out a huge sigh as I gulped down the mouthful of cake.

  “Wow. I wasn’t expecting you to say that.” I blinked at him. “And how do you come into this then?”

  He glugged more wine before looking at me with a tear in his eyes.

  “I love him.” He admitted. “To him, I’m just a body. Someone to act out his fantasies on. Someone to submit to his desires.” He looked dejected, defeated. His shoulders slumped as he spoke. “His wife is a frigid bitch. She has no idea what turns him on. So he uses me.” He looked into my eyes. “And I let him Elise. What does that make me?”

  I moved over to him and snuggled into his arms.

  “It makes you eager to please someone that you love Max. That’s all.” I looked up to him. My friend, strong and handsome, reduced to tears by another man.

  “He nearly crapped himself when you burst in today.” He spoke as he unclipped my hair and wrapped his fingers round and round in the strands. “He thinks everyone is going to tell his wife that he is gay.” He sighed again. “That’s why I usually only see him at the club. It’s a safe place there.”

  “How did you meet him?” I asked, reaching for the bottle and topping up his now empty glass.

  “He came into the restaurant with his wife.” He raised his glass to mine. “Can you believe that it’s her favourite fucking place?”

  I laughed.

  “It’s everyone’s favourite place Max.” I told him with pride.

  “Anyway...she doesn’t understand him, blah blah.” He spoke with pure sarcasm. “And she is a total bore in the bedroom. He once told me that she lay on her back and asked him to pull her nightdress down when he had finished.”

  That had me. I laughed so hard that the wine in my mouth sprayed all over both of us. We were laughing hysterically with tears rolling down our cheeks.

  “No wonder he wants you then.” I squeezed his knee affectionately.

  “So come on...if we are bearing all...” Max gave me a little shove so I was sitting. I turned to face him. “How do you know Dom the dom?” He raised his eyebrow.

  “It’s really not important.” I swirled the glass in my hand and focused on the glossy liquid clinging to the sides of the glass. “He rescued me when I had cramp during an early morning run, that’s all.” I brought the glass to my lips and drained it, holding it up for a refill. Max picked up the bottle and held it over the glass.

  “He clearly did more than rescue you princess. I have never seen him quite so...” He poured the wine. “...Possessive.”

  “I don’t think so Max.” I dropped my eyes to the floor. “He was just after a bit of fun, that’s all.”

  “Elise. I saw the way he was looking at you in the club. He was watching your every move from the second I took off my blindfold.” He emptied his own glass. “He would have murdered anyone who went within an inch of you.”

  I looked up at him. I opened my mouth to say s
omething, but thought better of it. I changed the subject instead.

  “Ellie is coming home for the weekend, Can she stay here?” I ignored him clicking his tongue across his teeth.

  “Of course she can. You know that.” He took hold of my hand. “He is dangerous Elise. Stay away from him.”

  I pulled my hand free.

  “You don’t need to worry Max. He doesn’t want me anymore.” I got up and went through to kitchen. I opened the fridge and realising that I had only chilled one bottle, I grabbed a burgundy from the rack. I uncorked it and filled my glass, throwing it back immediately. Then I refilled it and took the bottle through to the lounge.

  Max smiled at me as I came through the door.

  “That’s not as bad as I expected... I thought you would be bringing the tequila.” He winked and held his glass up. I laughed at him; he always knew how to diffuse a situation.

  “Don’t tempt me, there is time yet.” I told him with a grin.

  By midnight I was tucked up in my bed. I buried my face in the pillow and breathed in Dominic’s scent from earlier that day. It made me feel safe, but at the same time desperately lonely. I drifted off to sleep having realised that although it had only been a few hours, I missed him.

  Chapter 16

  I had a lovely time that weekend with Ellie, who was not at all surprised that her Dad and I were separating, after I filled her in on some (not all) of the details surrounding our split. Daniel however refused to speak to me, even when Ellie called him and tried to talk to him about what was going on. I wasn’t worried, he was always going to take Adam’s side in things, and I hoped that he would come around eventually.

  I had decided it was time to stop feeling sorry for myself and get my life back on track. The pity party for one was over and it was time to start living my newly single life. I set about planning and a few weeks down the line I had it all sorted...or so I thought.

  Max gave me a few shifts at the restaurant, just so that I wasn’t sat around day after day with nothing to do. I didn’t actually need to worry about money, the divorce was going through and I would be well looked after due to the sale of the family home. It had gained value nicely over the years and as we had no outstanding mortgage all of the money was to be split evenly. I had found myself a nice little two bedroom flat just down the road from Max’ house. It was perfect for me and I was looking forward to moving in when the sale had completed.

  It was a difficult decision but in the months that had passed I had decided not to waste any more of my energy wondering about Dominic and what he was up to. He clearly wasn’t in the slightest bit interested in me, he hadn’t attempted to get in touch at all, though for weeks I expected him to just turn up out of the blue as he had done previously and so I put him out of my mind, threw his card away, and got on with my life without him in it.

  I stepped over the boxes that now cluttered Max’ spare room. I had cleared more things out of the house and was in danger of taking over all of the available space in his previously uncluttered home. It wouldn’t be long now though, I had a call from the solicitor yesterday telling me that in a matter of days we should be able to complete and I would be able to move into my lovely new flat.

  I grabbed my bag from the coat rack and left for the restaurant, Max had been there all day, I had no idea how he managed, I was exhausted after a six hour shift as hostess, but he spent pretty much all of every day there.

  “Hi Princess.” He called as I went in through the back door of the restaurant. “You okay?”

  I nodded and kissed his cheek as I bustled past him and up the stairs to the office to hang up my bag and grab my apron, before coming back downstairs and flicking the light switches. I busied myself getting the bar ready, ensuring there were enough glasses and that the carafes were sparkling, before checking the rota to see which waiting staff I had working this evening. I picked up the diary and the reserved signs, there were always lots of advance bookings, it was rare of anyone to just walk in off the street and expect to get a table, at best we could book them in for an hour or so later and they would go for a drink in the wine bar next door before returning.

  I took a sharp intake of breath as I saw the booking for 8pm. It simply said ‘Altar’ and my heart sank as my mind ran overtime worrying about it.

  “Max...” I called. “What is this booking tonight?”

  “What booking?” He called back before exiting the kitchen and coming towards me drying his hands on a towel as he did so.

  “This one.” I pointed at it in the diary as he looked over my shoulder.

  “Fuck!” He rested his chin on my shoulder. “I have no idea.”

  “It’s Sara’s writing.” I said, adding quietly. “What if it’s him?”

  My stomach was in knots, I felt nauseous at the thought of seeing him. It had been over 2 months and I was just beginning to get through each day without him being the first thing on my mind as I woke and the last as I drifted off to sleep.

  “Go home Elise.” Max said. “I will host tonight.”

  “What about the kitchen?” I asked him. I didn’t want to let him down.

  “Its fine, Lee can work the kitchen; he is in at 6pm.” He squeezed my shoulder affectionately. “Go home.”

  “I’m being stupid aren’t I?” I looked up at him.

  “No. Not at all. You have worked hard to get him out of your system.” He wrapped his arms around me and gave me a bear hug, kissing the top of my head as he did so. “You do whatever you want. If you want to go home, we will cope. If you want to stay...well that’s up to you. It’s your decision entirely.”

  I shrugged my shoulders and took a breath in.

  “I’m staying.” I announced concisely. “Fuck him!”

  “That’s my girl.” Max held me by the arms and looked into my eyes. “Have I told you lately how proud I am of you?” He grinned at me.

  “You haven’t actually, but you can show me by pouring me a glass of wine. I think I might need it tonight.” I winked at him.

  “Leaving the car here till the morning then?” He asked as he poured a huge glass of cabernet sauvignon and handed it to me.

  “Definitely.” I took the glass and tipped my head towards him in appreciation.

  It was a busy evening, the time was passing quickly and the restaurant was bustling. For the most, there were lovely groups of people enjoying an evening out but there was one particular table seating a huge group of blokes on a leaving do from a pharmaceutical company. There were 12 of them and we had put them against the back wall out of the way, but they were loud and demanding, and intent on giving their waitress a hard time. As she left the floor for the third time with a face like thunder I stepped in and asked them to keep it down, and reminded them that Sara would only serve them while they were being polite to her. I was greeted with a barrage of cheers and leery looks. They really were the pits.

  “It’s time to leave. I will bring your bill.” I spoke firmly as I turned on my heel to walk away from them.

  Suddenly I felt myself being yanked backwards as one of them, a ruddy faced man with a gut to match the size of their bar bill grabbed on to my wrist.

  “We are not finished darling.” He sneered. “How about you help us out with a little dessert.” He winked and licked his lip, causing the rest of them to erupt in cheers and raucous laughter. I struggled to pull away from him, feeling the bile rise up in my throat. He pulled me closer and he stank of stale booze and cheap aftershave. I turned my face away from him and squeezed my eyes shut tight.

  “Take your filthy dirty hands off her!” I opened my eyes in shock at his voice. I looked at his face pleadingly as he took my free hand in his. “I won’t tell you again.” He said. He sounded menacing, like he was not to be messed with. The man let go of my wrist as if it were burning him and I moved away from him quickly stepping behind Dominic. He kept hold of my hand as he leaned in to the table.

  “In future, when a lady asks you to let go, you let go...immediat
ely! Do we understand each other?”

  The man nodded. He looked petrified, and the rest of his crowd were surprisingly quiet now.

  “Elise. Bring the bill for this table.” He didn’t even look at me, just gave my hand a gentle squeeze before letting me go. I moved quickly to the bar and printed off the bill. I handed it to Dominic on a silver coin plate and he slammed it down on the table before the crude man.

  “Don’t forget the gratuity.” He said as he took my hand again and moved across the room tugging me to follow him.

  Max pre empted us and opened the back door as we approached the kitchen. I was pulled outside and shoved against the wall as the door closed behind us.

  “What the fuck are you playing at?” He snarled at me, pacing the pathway.

  I was stunned and I had no idea why he was so angry with me.

  “What do you...?” I started.

  “You are putting yourself in danger!” He stopped in front of me. “Why would you do that?”

  I was furious. How dare he? He walked out of my life weeks ago, and yet here he was, being all protective and bossing me around as if he owned me.

  “I’m working Dominic.” I growled back at him. “Some of us need to make a living.”

  He stopped in front of me and ran his hand through his hair. I watched him as he did so. He looked stressed, like he needed to relax.

  “I’m sorry.” He said. “When I saw him touching you I just lost it.” He moved closer to me. “In fact, I have been losing it pretty much constantly since I walked away from you.” He put his hands against the wall at either side of my head and leaned in to me. He kissed me with such force that he almost crushed my lips with his. I heard a low groan escape from his throat as he flicked his tongue inside of my mouth.

  I let him take me with force, responding eagerly even though there was a tiny voice in the back of my mind screaming at me to stop. He moved one hand to the back of my neck and pulled me closer, squeezing tightly and wrapping my hair around his fingers.

  “NO!” I pulled myself away with such vigour that my skull made a resounding thud as it bounced off the wall behind me. My hands flew to my head to rub it and I closed my eyes tightly.