Altar Ego Page 9

  I lounged around for a bit before deciding to take a shower and then go and pick up my mail from home. I needed a few things too that I had left behind, and I knew Adam would be at the office.

  I stepped into the shower and turned on the water. Max had one of those amazing waterfall showers, and the warmth of the water on my skin was so relaxing. I stood under it for an age, just letting it wash over me and cleanse me of my hangover. I washed my hair and as I lathered the shampoo I heard my phone beep. It was a text and it could wait. It wouldn’t be important. I rinsed and then smoothed conditioner through my hair with my fingers... there was that beep again. Whoever it was, they were being persistent.

  I finished washing and stepped out of the shower cloaking myself in a huge towel and wrapping a smaller one around my head in a kind of turban effect. I brushed my teeth, and tutted in frustration as my phone started to ring. It was incessant; it kept ringing and ringing, cutting off, then starting again. I finished up in the bathroom and grabbed my phone from the side as I moved into the bedroom to dress.

  I checked the number on the screen as it rang again. I didn’t recognise it so I threw it on the bed, without bothering to check the texts. I put on my underwear, sprayed perfume and stood in front of the full length mirror to blow dry my hair. Whilst doing so, I thought I heard something downstairs... turning the hairdryer off I listened carefully. I didn’t hear anything else so I switched it back on and tipped my head upside down to dry it roughly. I wasn’t going anywhere important so it didn’t matter if it was a little wild.

  I stood, threw my head back and gave my face a quick blast of cold air before switching the hair dryer off. As I placed it on the dresser, I caught sight of something out of the corner of my eye. I turned and jumped out of my skin when I saw Dominic standing there, just leaning against the door frame.

  “What the fuck?” I glared at him, suddenly self conscious standing there in just my underwear.

  “Language Elise.” He said. He unfolded his arms and looked me up and down slowly. “You really need to learn to answer your phone when I call.” His eyes settled on my mouth and I bit my lip nervously. How could he turn me to jelly just with a look?

  “Maybe I would have answered it, had I known it was you.” I told him as I moved across the room to the wardrobe. “And anyway; how the fuck did you get in?” I opened the doors fully, obscuring his view of my body and flicked through the hangers to find something suitable. I grabbed a pair of dark indigo jeans and a cream sweater and turned, only to collide with his chest.

  “I told you to watch your language.” He said and reached up, placing his hand at the back on my neck. He squeezed and pulled me towards him, locking me in place against him. I could feel his arousal pressing against me and I gasped. “Don’t act all surprised Elise. You should know by now that defying me makes me want to do things to you that you couldn’t possibly understand.” His mouth was close to my ear and his voice sounded almost menacing. It didn’t worry me though, I was relaxed in his arms and I pushed my pelvis against him, feeling him throb through his trousers.

  “You don’t know how fucked up that sounds.” I said as I trailed my eyes over his mouth, just willing him to kiss me.

  “And you don’t know how fucked up I am.” He said. He blew onto my neck, before placing his mouth over my skin and biting...hard. I cried out as he slipped his hand between us and unfastened his belt, sliding it through the loops till it was loose in his hands. He stepped backwards, turning me around so that my back was against him and I too was walking blind. All too suddenly I was spun round and bent over the edge of the bed. His hand firmly on the small of my back, he used the other one to trail the cool leather of the belt down my back. He started between my shoulder blades and moved towards my behind, trailing the buckle across my cheeks, and down into the valley between them. I gripped the eiderdown with my hands, twisting the fabric in my closed fists, and pushed myself backwards against him. He released himself and groaned as the head nudged at my opening.

  “Please...Dominic...Please.” I moaned.

  He backed off a little and massaged my flesh with one hand, in a flash the leather of the belt came down on my cheek and I jumped in shock. I gasped as in one swift movement he thrust himself into me and rubbed my cheek to alleviate the sting. My senses were all over the place. My arse was stinging but the ache inside of me was more severe. I ground myself against him taking him in as deeply as I possibly could, and encouraging him further.

  He pulled out slowly, though not all the way. With the tip of his cock gently nudging my swollen folds he brought back his hand again. The looped leather slapped against my other cheek this time and again; he instantaneously thrust inside of me, taking me to heights I never imagined could exist.

  My breathing ragged, and my insides assaulted by the sheer size of him, I bit back my tears and lifted my head.

  “Again...” I pleaded.

  Spurred on by my request he struck me again. This was by far the hardest of the three strikes. I couldn’t stop the tears this time and I cried out loud before I bucked against him. The belt dropped to the floor and he grabbed me with both hands on my hips. I felt his skin on my back, the heat between us was incredible. He kissed the nape of my neck as he drove into me, and I threw my head back over his shoulder in appreciation.

  “You feel so fucking perfect.” He growled against my skin. I felt his throbbing length inside of me, filling every space as I contracted around him, squeezing him tightly. “I love the feel of you coming all over me.” He snaked one hand under my stomach and lifted me against him. It simply was not possible for us to be any closer to each other. His movements slowed as my I reached my peak and clenched him tight, moaning his name over and over. He responded by letting his own climax take hold and grunting as he spilled inside of me.

  We stayed there for several minutes just coming down from the high. I was exhilarated. I had never felt anything like this before. He held me tightly and whispered into my ear.

  “Are you okay?”

  I nodded, unable to speak, and not sure that I could find my voice if I tried.

  “Good.”He said and kissed the skin on my jaw line softly. He pulled out of me slowly and said “Wait there.” The cool air hit my rear end now that he was no longer covering it and the sting started. It was not painful, nor uncomfortable. It was just there. Like a reminder of him. I rested my face into the bedding and relaxed my grip on the fabric as I felt him behind me once more.

  “This was all I could find.” He said as he smoothed a cold cream over my cheeks, rubbing the thick cream into my cheeks softly and taking away the sting. “I will get you some arnica.” He gently caressed my rear until all of the cream had been absorbed and he turned me over gently, lifting my legs up and climbing onto the bed next to me. He wrapped his arms around me and held me to his chest. I fiddled with his tie, which was still perfect incidentally and snuggled in to him.

  “Elise. We need to talk.” He said.

  “Hmmm?” I mumbled, I was drifting in and out of a sleepy relaxed state and I didn’t want to talk.

  “Elise.” He gave me a gentle shake.

  I pulled myself up the bed, and looked at him.

  “Okay...but not here...and definitely not naked.” I laughed. “Let me get dressed.” I unfolded myself from his hold, not really wanting to and missing his touch immediately. I cleaned myself up in the bathroom before quickly dressing in the jeans and sweater I had picked up. All the time he was watching me intently, his eyes flitting from my face to my feet and back again. It was as if he was taking in every inch of me lest he should forget what I looked like.

  “Oh.” I said out loud as the realisation sank in. That was what he was doing. He was making sure he didn’t forget how I looked. This was clearly the ‘talk’ about how it was not me it was him etc etc. I silently scolded myself for letting him in, for letting myself grow fond of him. I picked up a simple pair of black court shoes and stood by the door.

  “I’m
ready.” I said.

  He stood up slowly and looked at me with curiosity. He had been seated on the edge of the bed having tidied himself up. I glanced at the belt, now buckled round his waist and felt the heat rising in my cheeks. I looked to the floor as he moved across the room toward me.

  “Are you okay?” He asked. He almost sounded concerned, but I wasn’t convinced. I needed to get this over with so I could move on.

  “I’m fine.” I replied with a half smile. “Shall we go and get some coffee?” I moved to the staircase before giving him an opportunity to respond, and he followed behind. We left the house and I locked the door behind us. Dominic took the path and went for his car pressing the button on the key fob to open the doors.

  “Dominic.” I called. “Let’s take a walk.” I stood by the gate and waited for him.

  “I...err...okay.” He locked the doors again and fell into step beside me.

  “You don’t normally walk anywhere?” It was a statement rather than a question really, seeing as the answer was obvious.

  “Not anymore.” He said, before falling silent again. We walked for a few minutes before arriving at a small coffee shop near the park gates. He opened the door for me and I entered ahead of him, ordering a caramel latte and a flat black. He stood beside me in the queue looking uncomfortable, and I relished the fact that he was walking in my shoes for a short while.

  The guy behind the counter slid the takeaway cups across the marble top with a wink and I smiled at him, totally unaware of the grimace on Dominic’s face. I handed him his cup before striding out into the summer sun. I was aware of him behind me, as we entered the park and I led him to the old bandstand.

  I perched my bottom on the step against the railings and stretched my legs out in front of me. He looked down at the dusty floor, shrugged his shoulders and lowered himself down to join me.

  “I love it here.” I said. “I used to bring the children when they were little and sit here for hours.” I was volunteering information that he probably didn’t want. So he surprised me when he took a sip of his coffee and said...

  “How old are your children?”

  I smiled as I thought of them.

  “Ellie is 20 and Daniel 18. They are both at university now.” I sighed.

  “You miss them.” He said tenderly and took my hand in his. It was a small gesture but it meant everything to me. He had touched something inside of me and I really didn’t want it to end. I turned to look at him. He was clean shaven, his hair perfect and there was a tiny freckle on his cheekbone I had never noticed before.

  “Yes. I do.” I stared into his eyes. “I will miss you too.”

  He gazed at the floor, releasing my hand and clamping his fingers around his coffee cup.

  “Elise...please.” He sighed. “Don’t make this any harder than it already is.”

  “Look at me Dominic.” I watched him as he gulped another mouthful of coffee, his Adam’s apple moved as he swallowed and the skin of his throat now looked restricted by his collar and tie. He loosened it with his finger and turned towards me, those eyes, once cold and steely, now filled with emotion.

  “I can’t do this Elise. “ He said. “You awaken things in me that I hadn’t even realised were sleeping within.” He blinked as he continued. “I’m not right for you. You deserve more.”

  “What if I don’t want more?” I asked quietly. “What if I just want you?”

  He shook his head and broke eye contact.

  “You have no idea who I am, what I’m capable of.”

  “So let me find out.” I whispered.

  He placed his coffee cup on the floor and stood slowly. He slid his hands into his pockets and turned away from me.

  “I’m sorry Elise.” He didn’t even look at me, he just walked away.

  “I’m not.” I whispered at his back. “I will never be sorry.” A single tear dropped onto my cheek, and it was just possible that my heart was breaking. I felt more sadness at him walking away than I did when I left Adam, and to be honest, that didn’t surprise me.

  Chapter 15

  I stayed sat there nursing my latte for so long, that by the time I tried to drink it, it was freezing. I screwed up my face in disgust and walked to the nearest bin. I dropped my cup into it followed by Dominic’s, which he had left on the floor beside me and headed for the park gates.

  I walked back to the house and got into my car. I sat for a moment and went over and over in my head whether there was anything different I could have done. Whether there could have been a way to make him at least give us a try. I had only spent a few days with him, and yet he had affected me in the strangest of ways. It’s not like I was in love with him or anything, but I felt like my life was more interesting with him in it. I shook myself out of my mood and started the engine. I couldn’t sit here all day feeling sorry for myself. I turned the music up loud and set off for home. The realisation hit me suddenly that it wasn’t my home anymore, it was just a house where I had made memories. It was quite sad really.

  I pulled up on the drive, relieved to see that Adam’s car was not there. I let myself in and moved gingerly from room to room. I have no idea what I was expecting to find and I laughed to myself before relaxing and getting my things together.

  I put everything by the door ready to shove in the car and went into the office. I would just send a quick email to Ellie letting her know that I was staying with Max for a while. I didn’t worry about Daniel. Ellie would let him know and he would take his dads side anyway no matter what. They were really close, and so similar to each other, like peas in the proverbial pod. I hit send and got up to leave.

  I opened the front door to find Adam stood in front me, key in hand.

  “Elise.” He seemed surprised to see me. “What are you doing here?”

  “It’s my house too Adam.” I snapped. “I was just picking up some things.” I continued to leave and starting putting all of my things outside the door.

  “Let me help.” He reached for one of the bags.

  “Don’t you dare!” I shouted. I knew he was only trying to help, but I really didn’t welcome it. I was having a shit day and I didn’t need him trying to be nice to me. I knocked his hand away and carried on alone. He just stood there watching me as I loaded my things into the boot. I slammed it shut and fumbled with my key ring, taking off the house key and holding it out to him.

  “Why are you giving me that? I don’t want your key Elise.” He looked hurt, his eyes void of the twinkle they used to have.

  “I won’t be coming back Adam. I have everything I need.” I told him. I looked away from him; I couldn’t bear to see the sadness in his eyes. I had to keep telling myself that this was his idea. That he decided we weren’t worth the effort. I seemed to be surrounded by men who got off on telling me I was no good for them. Though technically Dominic had said the HE was no good for me. I sighed and Adam took the key from me and closed his fist tight around it.

  “This is it then?” He asked. His eyes were searching my face for answers as he spoke.

  “Yes Adam. This is it.” I walked away from him and got back in my car, not waiting for him to stop me again; I started the engine and drove away from him, from my home and from over 21 years of happiness.

  I dumped my stuff at Max’ house and decided to go and give him a hand in the restaurant. He would be there alone doing the prep for tonight’s menu. He would appreciate the company. I smiled as I drove to the restaurant, looking forward to spending some time with Max.

  I pulled up outside the back of the restaurant and parked my car. The kitchen door was closed although unlocked, and I pushed it open and went inside. To my surprise the kitchen was quiet. The radio was playing in the background, the strains of 80’s music barely breaking the silence. Something was wrong. It was too quiet. I moved through the kitchen to the stairs leading to the first floor and the office. I tentatively called for Max as I slowly climbed the stairs.

  “Max...” I was greeted with silence. T
here was no reply.

  I rounded the corner at the top of the stairs and gasped.

  There was a man, large in stature and broad across the shoulders, holding Max faced against the wall by his neck, with his arms tightly secured up his back. He was leaning in to him and speaking into his ear in gruff tones. I instantly felt the dread rising and burst into the room screaming at him.

  “Get the fuck off him.” I grabbed at his back clawing and scratching him in an attempt to pull him off of my friend. “What do you think you are doing?” I was furious, and my strength which appeared to have come from nowhere surprised me. He turned and grabbed my arms, staring at me. There was a look of fear in his eyes. He held me there, his breathing heavy and laboured, and it was only when I noticed Max adjusting himself and the look of panic on his face, that I realised what I had interrupted.

  “Oh god! I’m so sorry.” I stuttered. I shook his hands off me and raced out of the room, embarrassed both for them, and for myself. I ran down the stairs, through the kitchen and out of the door. I locked myself in the car and drove... not far...just away from there, anywhere away from what I had just seen.

  I stopped at my favourite coffee shop. They would be sick of the sight of me before so long. I seemed to spend most of my time in there these days. I took a table by the window and nursed a steaming mug of hot chocolate with lashings of cream. I needed it. Today had been a shitter of a day. I fumbled in my bag for my phone and fired off a quick text to Max.

  Im so sorry. I should have called you before barging in like that.

  He text back immediately...

  Where are you princess? Im sorry you had to see me like that.

  It wasn’t his fault. He always tried to put things right. It was one of the things I loved about him, and I smiled at his text before replying.

  Im okay...drowning my sorrows in hot chocolate. Had a bad day. See you at home?